This chapter sort of reminds me of Genesis 9:6, for killing someone is a terrible sin, and if that were accidental, that would be tragic enough, but murder is if someone intentionally does this. And if that happens, God will see to it that he/she dies a violent death even if that murderer repents and follows Jesus later. For Paul killed all sorts of Christians left and right (see Acts 8:3) and later met Jesus (Acts 9:5-6) so that he’d love Him upon realising the Christian faith wasn’t heretical after all (Acts 9:18-20), but he was brutally beheaded for his faith decades later (see 2 Timothy 4:6-8). Yet God had forgiven him of all his sins, which he always had a hard time accepting (1 Timothy 1:15), and I don’t blame him! But this chapter is found in pages 101-102 of the NKJV Bible I have for this four-translation project, page 130 of the NASB Bible (Old Testament), pages 203-204 of my VOICE copy (along with the note 📝 📋 they wrote after that chapter), and pages 208-209 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.
I just had a therapy appointment where my therapist and I were able to discuss some things, and I realised I felt stuck in life, and that practising godliness may be my only way out, if that even happens 😬😬😬😬😬 I don’t know if I’m going to get any sort of promotion, extra job, or raise, but I can’t expect any of that to happen, can I? And besides this, I feel at home in Gilbert, though it’s not much like home anymore due to the deeply selfish and abusive ordinance they signed into law a week and a half ago about churches not being required to report child sex abuse cases to the authorities in Arizona. And if Gilbert isn’t much like home anymore (and I’ve considered it safe and my favourite place to be in the region for years), there’s no chance I’ll make it out of this one… my mom still may be trying to take me out of the Christian faith 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 (she lives in Phoenix, and I grew up there) and because of all this, I won’t be safe anymore. Indeed, even if they never removed the law that gives me autonomy when it comes to choosing where to live (and I was born with autism… and for what I don’t know), my mom can still outsmart the leaders again. I needed to stay in Gilbert because it was the only place I knew I could be safe in the U.S., and now I can’t afford any living situation without a roommate, even if I’m making a good amount of cash above the minimum wage here. For just as those who commit any sort of accident, no matter how outrageous, are forgiven every time, but the unforgiving people always succeed (and someone is able to seize me in lieu of supposedly sinning against them) — the cities of refuge mentioned in this chapter were for anyone who had accidentally killed someone and could stay there until the avenger died, much like how Moses had killed an Egyptian for abusing a Hebrew, who shared his flesh and blood, but the Pharaoh found out and he ran off to Midian (Exodus 2:11-15). And though I did NOTHING violent, my mom would seek to indoctrinate me into oblivion this time… she cannot delight in what’s good, and her heart is in love with the wickedness she had caused, causing her to be permanently unrepentant. And I bet even if no one reads this (kudos to those who actually do 😅😅😄😄 you’re the real MVPs), something can happen so that I can’t get any closer to becoming debt-free or live somewhere safe. I really feel like I’m in a losing battle here 📉 for I have no control over what rent will be after my lease ends late this November, nor does anyone else. It’s just corporate that determines everything, and for those with wisdom, you can tell that corporate is selfish and greedy about even a slight advantage in someone’s job they work at. This country really should work for the people, but it isn’t. And the icing on the cake is, most Americans pretend this problem doesn’t exist 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️ the leaders don’t care about following ANY good laws nowadays…
My apartment complex has been good so far in promoting safety for being in a bigger city, but happiness isn’t very high in any neighbourhood here, nor is the life expectancy. I will say that it is good that there’s lots of big trees around the outer edges of the complex and by all the buildings, but I still feel the air isn’t very clean… maybe it’s because it’s crowded where I live but I legit feel like my dreams are being depleted daily. At least, though, the love of God will never run out (Lamentations 3:22) 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💝💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💘💓💗💞💕💟❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🩶🤍🩷👯🏼♀️💃🏼🧚🏼♀️🧜🏼♀️🧑🏼🩰 so while I realise I didn’t talk much about the cities of refuge here (I guess I just explained my backstory some more), if God’s mercies work towards me becoming debt-free so that I’d honour Him with my finances, that’s awesome, but I can’t put my hope in that 😅😅😅 I do wonder what He’s got planned for me here, though. But I’ll see you soon in chapter 36, and after that, Numbers will be finished and we’ll go to Deuteronomy, the fifth and final book of Moses.
In Christ,
Ron Outland
Ron And His Stories 