Author: Ron Outland

I’m sure many people who’ve gone to church for a little while already know about Joseph and his rainbow-coloured coat, and it’s not all that difficult to see why Joseph’s brothers grew resentful of him because Jacob (Israel) saw Rachel, his favourite maiden, in him, if you’ve read the previous several chapters or so. But for those just joining me on here, you might think, “Why did Jacob prize Joseph so much when he could’ve done the same with his other sons, now being adults?” Well, you’re right, they are all grown men by now (though there’s still no sign of Dinah anywhere… I’m very saddened and super-heartbroken to see that nothing good ever happens as a result of the evil incidents of Genesis 34 and no more mentions throughout the rest of the Bible 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔) Sadly, though, it’s as if love doesn’t happen once you turn 18. Indeed, if you’ve been devoid of most of the truths you should’ve heard even after your 23rd birthday, then it’s a really high chance of an automatic game over. In context, I speak of Jesus and His liberation Gospel to everyone, even in terms of using respect correctly, and NOT as a weapon — anyone who does this is going to Hell. This passage is found in page 22 of my NKJV Bible, pages 28-29 of my NASB Bible, pages 48-49 of my VOICE copy, and pages 47-48 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.

Joseph’s first dream is of sheaves, and his sheaf stood above all others, and they bowed down to it (verse 7). This, unfortunately, made his brothers resent him too much to even speak to him 😓😖😬 and when he dreamed that 11 stars and the moon and sun bowed down to him as before (see verse 9), even Jacob was enraged about this and thought it was stupid (verse 10) but he did brood about it (verse 11, The Message) — it was a prophecy from the Holy Spirit. Both of those dreams were. I know I was pretty excited to graduate high school and go to university. I was just hoping to live on campus pretty much the whole time, but now’s not the time to recall past events, for I think I could be watched by both the older generations and even the U.S. government to some extent. And this, I think — not to exaggerate it — does great harm to everyone globally. I just pray I feel no need to privatize anything on here… please don’t get angry because someone you know has great dreams. I know I have a 17-year-old co-worker who basically “has it all” — I don’t want to get mad at him, either. I know my niece deserves to have all the godly dreams Jesus has for her come to pass! I do pray I get better at ministering to her, though… indeed, many people in the past have had their dreams annihilated, and are trying to shut it down for future generations — I think it’s just easier for them, but that’s not right at all! Such bitterness can only come from the reprobate intent that Hebrews 12:15 rebukes. I mentioned in a note on a passage in chapter 27 of this book that bitterness is no good, and apostasy is devastating, and it means missing out on the grace of God and taking it lightly (2 Corinthians 6:1). No harsh word from them will ever be edifying or liberating — it’s full of lies and slander. Yet they think truth can only come from hearing bad news… I’m like, “Bullcrap.”

And speaking of lies and slander, it must be open season for people who don’t watch the news like myself, because the media is still lying to everyone, exaggerating the truth about the coronavirus! The flu is worse, and I’ve gone through it twice during the previous winter. I think the media is dead, even social media, really. The Internet may not be possible to redeem for safety and hilarious gags when appropriate. Can’t be safe without technology, can’t be safe with it, either. I guess Satan just fights so hard against the good things God has made that as it is, the conservative nonsense has already gained too much ground in this world. It’s a lot like Thor: Ragnarok in which, so to speak, the end of the world is inevitable, just like it was for Asgard. I think that’s why Jesus spoke so much about it on Matthew 24, and I hope to drink from that much more often from here.

But despite that, do you have any prayer requests? Leave any in my e-mail: ron.outland4727@gmail.com! I’ll read each one, write them down, then tape them to my bedroom walls! I’ll be sure to write more sooner or later… I don’t know when it’ll be, but God-willing, I’ll do it. Thanks for reading, and I hope your week goes by (it was just another manic Monday for me though my shift was kinda short 😂😂😂 oh, well) in a good way, and until next time, deuces!

This is a pretty hard one to write (this section of Genesis is found in pages 22-31 of my NKJV Bible, pages 28-40 of my NASB Bible, pages 48-69 of my VOICE copy (with the notes) and pages 47-67 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy), seeing that my mom has discovered my Bible note blog (I don’t know if she’s read anything), yet I did talk to my friend, Josh, about it, and he’s pretty sure she thinks I should just mind my own business… I hope that’s the case, but I’m not expecting her to even want to get along with me. But I don’t want to do anything in terms of discord against anyone; I don’t know why anyone would start this kind of thing. Maybe they just impose too much… but like I said, I don’t impose anything on others, so I hope my mom can live at peace with me, and that I never live with a family member again unless I am raising a kid like Bee… I think she’s great; I don’t see why anyone would count her out. I just think the Jesus and His teachings should be upheld… like the fact that children are a blessing, for instance (see Psalm 127:3). I wish others would recognize that… seems like they never will, though. This kinda has a lot to do with this section of Genesis… but this story is pretty complex: Joseph is sold into slavery by his own brothers, he gets falsely charged with rape and subsequently gets sent to prison, but he has dreams as before, then rises to power as second in command to the Egyptian pharaoh. Meanwhile, a famine is happening in the area, and Jacob and the others go to Egypt where Joseph had been sold into slavery in the first place, then somehow, God gives a lot of good food in the area so everyone is saved! Joseph then forgives his family after Jacob dies, and just as he wants peace with his persecuters, so I want peace between me and my mom and others… I don’t know how they’ll all take it, though. I’m actually afraid to have the security I deserve breached again. Still, I hope my mom is as respectful as she said she was, because I don’t think respect is earned. It’s not in the Bible, the whole “earn respect” thing. I don’t want to say it must be earned… I don’t deserve this, the indoctrination. People MUST get along with others, and I hope my mom would let me mind my own business as I’ve been trying to do my whole life. If she doesn’t, I’ll be like, “I get the point. Fine. Me and my brother will do life with Bee elsewhere.” And if she says, “Wait, what are you doing?” I’ll be like, “It’s too late, Mom, you’ve made your choice. Now go and show all your friends you love hostility more than us!” I don’t want this to happen. It’s not my fault, either! She just blamed me so much I actually still have a hard time believing it’s not game over, even after nearly 11 years of walking with Jesus and getting lots of good revelations and all. Is this what you want?! Please don’t do the same thing to my niece… I instead want to train her in godliness and the love of Jesus, the teachings I should’ve known as a kid. I understand if it’s hard for her to pay attention, though, I’m sorry if it’s the case no matter what stage of life she’s in, actually. Indeed, I often feel like I stand alone in everything… but if you want to pray for anything, you can leave a request in my e-mail (or not): ron.outland4727@gmail.com. I’ll read each one, write them down, then tape them to my bedroom walls! I hope you’re doing ok, and I’ll see you in the next one!

My niece’s 2nd birthday party last weekend was a huge success!! I loved everything that happened, from the bouncy house she allowed me to play in to the Frozen ladies performance (don’t worry, I didn’t undress them in my head or anything) — Bee loved everything, including the bubble machine! And… she got so many presents in just one day that I don’t think I ever got that many in like five birthdays! And best of all, I was able to introduce her better to Jesus by saying God loves us with all this! Granted, I only told my brother, but I pray he’s faithful to this word by telling his family members with my blessing 😊 I alluded to the children’s Bible I bought for my niece to read aloud to her one day — everyone loved it! My mom wasn’t there for long, but that’s ok 😊😊😊 she knows about my Bible notes on this website, now, but I’m praying she gets something good from God, for I don’t want her to go to Hell by mocking Him once again… but if anyone does something adverse to me or Bee or anyone else we know because of my Bible notes, I’m calling the police. I’m serious. I’ve been in SO much danger because of my witness to Jesus in the past… in 2015, the hostility was pretty high (it’s probably worse now), and there’s actually been some governmental restrictions against multiple religions here in the U.S. before. Jesus could be targeted, too! It’s just not fair to persecute someone because they believe something good.

Anyway, enough small talk. I’m going to say only this about Esau’s family tree that I didn’t realize God was moving through his nation by making many people out of him, but it’s too bad they all hated Jacob — Amalek was one of Esau’s grandsons, and because of his antagonism against Israel, God declared war against most of his children because of their rejection of Him (Exodus 17:18). For they were very vulnerable in that point of time, and anyone who attacks someone vulnerable is an accursed person by God Himself. The story of Esau also plays into the family discord between Joseph and his brothers in chapter 37… coming up next, by the way… but not before a short summary of the final section of this book (chapters 37-50) — I hope I don’t make too many spoilers 😂😂😂😂😂 and I’m hoping against the hostility someone might make against Bee because of me; she doesn’t deserve it! God, please, don’t let family discord divide my relatives any further! I never wanted anyone to play the blame game… that actually makes me want to jump off a cliff at times 😓 but I’d rather be here in this world for Bee 😁😁😁😁😁 this chapter is found in pages 21-22 of my NKJV Bible, pages 27-28 of my NASB Bible, pages 47-48 of my VOICE copy, and pages 46-47 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy. (Note: those latter two versions probably won’t have a lot of the same passages in the same numbered pages from here, but that’s ok.)

I forgot to mention that I announced this post’s publishing on Facebook (but this was really on my niece’s Lola’s post), so that’s how my mom discovered this. But whether or not she reads this, I’m praying for peace, because I’ve been harassed so much by my own family it’s not even funny. Why should the same happen to Bee? It’s not worth it to do anything angry. But certain people who know this and read this will probably turn a blind eye to me once again… I don’t know who it’ll be; I’m afraid to find that my mom is more violent than ever 😓😨😰 but she wasn’t like this from the beginning. I pray she doesn’t go there, though…

Have any prayer requests? Leave them in my e-mail: ron.outland4727@gmail.com! I’ll read each one, write them down, then tape them to my bedroom walls! I hope you have a good day, and I’ll see you in the final section of Genesis soon, just like I said. See ya!

I thought this day would never come, but I’m able to celebrate my niece’s 2nd birthday soon!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎆🎆🎆🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🧨🧨🧨🧨🧨✨✨✨🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊 (Sidenote: I want to blow an actual party whistle, like in the emoji in this paragraph.) Too bad my brother probably can’t have me over in the afternoon, though 😭😭😭 I just pray I see my niece this week… but I did finish reading the NASB just a few minutes ago 😁😁😁😁😁 — thank God I’m able to see her soon! 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

I can’t help but be hyped for my niece’s birthday party this weekend! It’s happening this Saturday, but I don’t know the location, yet I think I should go live on Instagram that day 🎞🎥📹🎬📽 and also, this passage is found in page 21 of my NKJV Bible, page 27 of my NASB Bible, pages 46-47 of my VOICE copy, and page 46 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.

Like Isaac, I want to be full of days when I’m dead, but I think Jacob and Esau were 120 when they buried him, seeing that they were born as he turned 60. I don’t know which months they were born in, but I find it pretty awesome that Jacob fathered 13 children — remember, Dinah had been raped in chapter 34 and we never hear from her again, but I’m just hoping to find she had found redemption in Jesus before the ugliness grew with the Israelites in Egypt. Sorry that I don’t have much to say today, by the way, guys; I’m just seriously wishing I could be at my niece’s birthday celebration! And I’ll NEVER get apologetic about that 😂😂😂😂😂 I can’t help but be thrilled to see her again 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇 — the only thing I wish was different was that I could show up at her house Thursday afternoon. I texted my brother about that, but no answer showed up. I sure do wish I could introduce her to Jesus, though. I pray no one stands in the way of me doing this, especially concerning Bee’s potential salvation in Him! But I don’t know how old Jacob and his sex partners were when they had a baker’s dozen of children. Yeah, I said “partners” — it’s plural. Weird, huh? Like I’ve said before, you’re going to see this a lot in the Scriptures, but thank God Paul said for each man to have his own wife and each woman her own husband (1 Corinthians 7:2).

Any prayer requests? Leave them in my e-mail: ron.outland4727@gmail.com! I’ll be sure to read each one, write them down, then tape them to my bedroom walls! I hope the next few days turn out well for you, and I’ll be back later this month with chapter 36.

Ciao!

Did Dinah make it? I don’t think she died, but she never got any restoration, as far as we know. Too often this happens when someone gets raped or abused in some other way… but I’m not speaking on this, now, for Jacob soon returns to Bethel where he had that dream about a ladder to Heaven (Genesis 28:10-22). There, he builds an altar to God and names it “Bethel” — there’s actually a church called Bethel Church in northern California, Redding, to be exact. I thought there were some issues with a prayer group called Sozo ministries in 2012, but three years later, I found it to be helpful, for the Holy Spirit had intended to deliver many traumatized people from demonic haunts in their head or on their hearts. I’ve had about four or five, now… I find that super-good, the Sozo thing 😇😇😇😇😇 sorry for my misunderstanding when I was 21. Two Rivers does it, and so should other churches, if they would listen to Jesus. But many still won’t, so soon, He’ll put them out of business. Thank God for many new house churches that are trying to honour Him; I pray they are sincere about it. I think that’s the future of the Christian Church as a whole — denominationalism is total bullcrap. Sorry for my words (haha) but I’m being frank here. Oh, this passage is found in page 21 of my NKJV Bible, page 27 of my NASB Bible, page 46 of my VOICE copy, and pages 45-46 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.

I noticed in verse 11 that multiple nations will come out of Jacob, but I only know of one so far, Israel (north and south; see Ezekiel 37:15-28). I don’t understand why God said a lot of nations would be descended from Jacob, but… hang on… I looked it up on Google, and couldn’t find anything genuine of consequence to Jacob’s descendants creating more nations. Not even the U.S. and U.K. commentary I found on an article online (I don’t want to mention the source) is that reliable, for both nations are more or less Christianized but not converted. Indeed, if anyone were to ask me, “Have either of them fallen yet?” I’d like to say (and I don’t want to say this about Britain)… the two nations have already fallen… to conservative nonsense so that too many would lovelessly follow them into Hell. The newly elected leader, Boris Johnson, is likely at work both with rejecting immigrants and refugees and also trying to be as thoroughly conservative as, unfortunately, the U.S. will become, and we, the nonpartisan Christians, are perceived as threats… and so are all non-Republicans who don’t follow things like this. Indeed, even the other parties are all beyond redemption, for you know what happened in the previous election, do I need to remind you? I sure hope not! That’s the reason we can’t really have nice things anymore, you know. But I believe revival will come to both the U.S. and the U.K. still; it’s just not going to be easy. Besides, the unbelief aggravates my spirit so that I am muzzled like a dog, figuratively speaking. Yet the natives will be fruitful and multiply once again; I just wish the evil one didn’t succeed in his plans to get more than one nation hopelessly and permanently conservative. It’s endangering God’s very throne, for if His throne is by righteousness and justice (Psalm 97:2), injustice and unrighteousness spell the end of His reign if He doesn’t do something about it sooner or later. God did NOT found any nation that gives hypocrisy a platform, for He didn’t do that with Israel with this motive. Yet Israel is still a people, and I think it’s pretty cool; I just wish they honoured Him correctly.

Also, I talked with a guy at work whose name is Justin (today was his last day at the store) and was able to introduce him to my church; he wants to go, and I think that’s awesome! I recommend him going to Awaken at 7 p.m. on Thursdays (such as three days from now). Hey, Justin, if you’re reading this, you’re invited, dude. (I showed him the URL to this website by writing it down.) You can also come to any church service on the weekends, such as Saturdays at 6 p.m., and Sundays at either 9 or 11 a.m. Beyond that, though, I won’t share what else we’ve talked about, but I do know he was inspired by this blog site 😁😁😁😁😁

The family tree of Israel is still incomplete, though, for Jacob still has only 11 sons (he fathers 12 tribes, two of which coming from one son, and his third son having allotments among the brethren). We’ll see that next time here on ablog-of-bible-notes-and-things.com! But I’ll mostly talk about Joseph’s humble beginnings and Jacob’s dedication to him from his birth. In the meantime, if you want to make any prayer requests, you can leave some in my e-mail: ron.outland4727@gmail.com! I’ll read each request, write them down, then tape them to my bedroom walls! I hope you found this encouraging, and like I said, I’ll see you in the other half of this chapter 😎😎😎

Edit: I realize I spoke almost nothing of identity in Jesus, I’m sorry 😅 I think believers are just prone to follow liberating things that, thank God, don’t screw people up, for every Jesus-lover is about freedom and truth like I am. Sorry for the lack of identity-speaking here 😂😂😂😂😂

Here, we see that Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, was brutally raped by a royal neighbor in Succoth. He even tried to get her to marry him, and Shechem’s family approved of it (they probably didn’t know the reason the soul tie had happened, but whatever). I think it’s great that the following words occur in this chapter, though, “Something like this should never happen” (VOICE). This chapter is found in pages 20-21 of my NKJV copy, pages 26-27 of my NASB copy, pages 44-45 of both my VOICE and Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copies.

I don’t know what to tell you other than this right now: if you or someone you know has been raped before, do you part to ensure this never happens again! For God will NEVER forgive those who have raped others, for in this chapter (and in 1 Peter 3:7) we see that this is a leanness-of-soul sin (similar to the words of Psalm 106:15 of both King James versions, 1611 and 1982), and God opposes those proud people, as 1 Peter 3:7 and 5:5 shows. Why couldn’t that have been me getting raped?! (And I’m a dude, so this is like, “What, man?”) Actually, I can’t accept that rape or sexual violence of any other sort should happen. I pray I resist this godless influence by the Holy Spirit… it’s bad enough that children are hurting in homes that should’ve loved them, whether or not they’ve faced hardship already, but if anyone gets raped? All I can really do is ignore it… that is, if it’s even possible, but oh, my God! People are trying to legalize it? Nah, I’m out. Don’t want me in this country? Don’t worry, I’m never setting foot here in the U.S. again if I can manage it! For real, though, women are great, and I hope no one else gets hurt because of me.

This is also something I don’t enjoy thinking about; in fact, I wonder why this even happens in the first place. I also noticed that Jacob’s sons had answered the evil rapist deceitfully (something I wouldn’t do even in this case), but they must’ve walked in it as good as Jacob had done in the past, for he still wasn’t a follower of Jesus even then. I don’t think Jacob was deceitful after the dream in chapter 28, but people can oppose me no matter what I do or say. I want to do more against the evils of sexual violence wholeheartedly, for I recognize I’m not doing much good right now, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask anyone what to do that I haven’t done yet. I do think it was bad that in I’m Not Ashamed, Rachel’s classmate was touching her butt when I knew she didn’t want that. I know I’m not a fan of that… it’s weird that this happened in a Christian movie. Of course, it’s PG-13 rated, but that still doesn’t make it right. You’re bound to see plenty of not-ok stuff in houses where most people are not Christians. I’m praying I can do better against both sexual violence and the hypocrisy many people carry. Also, you’ve noticed that there’s no emojis on this post… I guess I just don’t think to use any whenever I see something like this happening anywhere. Indeed, three of my friends have been raped before, and I wish this never happened. I wonder, what could I have done to prevent this? Of course, each of them happened either really far away or I didn’t know about it until a year or two after the incidents took place, but still, I want to prevent another godless event like this.

The chapter ends with two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, after the 11 sons had deceived the men of Succoth, killing every male when all of them were still sore from the circumcision demand. Though I don’t encourage hate of any kind, the city of Shechem, I think, deserves to be no more, for they all plundered the entire place and took every survivor captive. Jacob then said they brought trouble on him and his reputation would suffer (Genesis 34:30). But Simeon and Levi said, “Would you rather have Dinah treated like a prostitute?” (Genesis 34:31). The chapter ends there. There is no mention of Dinah ever again in the Scriptures, there is no restoration, there is no further accomplishment she makes. It’s just entirely unfair that she was degraded so badly here. I wish I could ask her what happened… if she is even remotely willing to trust me with any question I would ask, for I don’t want this to happen again 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I could dress in women’s clothing for humor, but not only do I have little in my bank account once again, I’d probably cause too many misunderstandings once again, and I’d probably cause division in my church community if I did this (though I did take some Instagram pictures (with some filters) of myself from the shoulders up — those I never released online), so despite the fact that sexual violence is gaining ground in this world, it doesn’t seem worth it to make people laugh with what I might be wearing like this. If my niece gets attacked like this, especially if a family member does it, I’d never be happy with life again, even if she does become Christian before or after that crap happens — pray that my niece would be forever free of godless abuse like this, and that no sexual violence ever happens to her 😭😭😭😭😭 we should be affectionate, yes, but NEVER come on to others. That’s ridiculous.

We need to be more aware of sexual abuse of any kind, and also to be more prayerful against it, for I want to live in a world free of such things. Maybe this’ll happen (for nothing in the New Testament ever mentions any rape incidents, even during the Tribulation), but I don’t know, for I heard that pedophilia is on the rise in some circles — I’m like, 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 and “eeeeewwwwwwwww!!! Disgusting!!” I think Jesus wants to vomit on those who do this, too. But the good news is, as the kingdom of darkness deepens into this world, so does God’s kingdom, for both Jesus and Satan are working tirelessly against each other, and only Jesus will win. Indeed, I believe we can live in a world free of sexual violence of any kind. Indeed, why did I wait so long to write a post on this chapter? I want to share it with some friends (and hopefully have other people I don’t know that well read this, too), perhaps even printing this out. I think I should do that, don’t you think?

Any prayer requests you might want to make? Leave them in my e-mail: ron.outland4727@gmail.com! I’ll read each one, write them down, then tape them to my bedroom walls! I’ll see you in chapter 35!

My friends, I deeply regret to inform you (you’ve probably heard of this already) that Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, died in a helicopter crash today 💔💔💔 I wish this didn’t happen 😭😭😭😭😭 it’s not likely either of them or the other victims of this tragic incident accepted Jesus, either, but at least one of them might have done that before the crash… I don’t know 😢 I wish they had known Him! I can’t do anything about it now (though I can probably pray anyone would come back to life by Jesus’ resurrection power) — I wish this didn’t happen; sorry I said the same thing twice in one paragraph 😅 I’m just really heartbroken for everyone who knew the NBA legend… I never was a fan of the Lakers, being from Phoenix and rooting for the Suns for as long as I can remember (they’ve been in business since ’68; I pray for an anointing from the Holy Spirit in each game, by the way), but I think it really sucks that someone THIS well-known and famous, despite having a lot of fans, never knew Jesus. Of course, I do remember hearing that he had done sexual violence at one point in the ’90s (I found this out long after that had happened), but I don’t know what happened. Regardless, I don’t think that should be taken lightly. I feel even worse for the 13-year-old girl whom I imagine never heard the Gospel even once… it just goes to show you that Christianity in this world seems to be dying because of so many being hypocritical about it.

One thing I do know that Jacob and Esau at least made up for their feud several chapters earlier, but I’m thinking he never really forgave Jacob, since they were so antagonistic to Israel over the next 1,300+ years after this. The Life Application Study Bible is lying about Esau being forgiving to anyone, for I read its profile in that version, but soon realized that he and his descendants had nursed a grudge from the incident in chapter 27. Actually, I see no reason to trust any commentary from that one, no matter what translation the writing is on. But the Word of God can be trusted to show us how to live 😇😇😇😇😇 speaking of which, the next chapter is one that’s often ignored everywhere, yes, in places with or without a church. It’s just not fair these incidents took place, and I want to keep my niece safe from any sexual violence that might try and advance against her. I don’t understand why females are targeted more for this, shouldn’t those guys leave them alone? I know I would every single time, and even around female co-workers and friends, I exercise caution in every turn. It’s not worth it for misunderstandings to arise, especially when around children. By the way, this chapter is found in page 20 in my NKJV Bible, pages 25-26 in my NASB Bible, page 44 of my VOICE copy (with its short note I mentioned in my previous post) and pages 43-44 in my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.

If there’s one thing you can pray about, I kindly ask that you pray for the families of all the victims of today’s tragic helicopter crash, that anyone would become Christian tonight… any anything else you want to pray about, you can leave an e-mail in my inbox at ron.outland4727@gmail.com. I’ll read each one (I still have none 😂😂😂 please send me prayer requests), write them down, and tape them to my bedroom walls! In the meantime, be safe out there, for my next post will be about chapter 34 where the brutal rape of Jacob’s daughter and the subsequent violence take place. I’m like, “Ouch!” This’ll be quite a ride…

The note is found in page 43, and before I write about this chapter, I’ve got some statements to make about it.

First off, why is he saying Jacob was demanding anything from Jesus here? Didn’t he know that Jesus loved him and was willing to propel him forward? I know I did. That was why I was willing to repent and follow Him in the first place, for I knew I couldn’t save myself or get my ancestors (particularly my mom) to ever want me as a son. In fact, my mom knows I said this all these years ago back in 2009 when I was in the therapist’s office with her and my brother (this was during some family drama we were going through). I wanted to get some help (that’s why I write this), and I’m pretty sure my niece might one day end up in the same boat because of divisive influences like this. For who has been divisive and repentant in the same life? I know I should be over this, but I’m seeing so many hateful things at work (many parents are like this, too, though probably not to the scale my mom had been, yet they will one day) — I wish I could put an end to it.

And second, the part of the note about changing as if God needed Jacob to earn His love for him… that never happened in the Bible. This never happened, period! This world just gets so religious that entire translations diss the Holy Spirit! Even certain languages with Scripture having been translated already — none of them have any Christians yet, I bet. I wish I could fix things with the note I’m writing about that’s in my VOICE copy…

And third, stop me if you’ve heard this one, Jacob NEVER deceived Laban when he was staying with him for 20 years. Check the previous chapter on God’s instruction to Jacob about sabotaging the livestock, and line that up with the fact that God never lies, as several Bible verses say, especially Hebrews 6:18. The note the commentator wrote on this chapter when the VOICE translation first came out eight years ago is just plain wrong.

I don’t wish to offend you or anyone on here, but let’s face it, it’s clear that this commentator and at least a few more, perhaps, are on Esau’s side. In fact, when I read a short note on the next chapter, I noticed they said Esau wanted nothing from Jacob. I think Esau rejected Jacob’s cry for forgiveness, as all divisive jerks love to denounce repentant men like Jacob about. But not even this is convincing evidence of Jacob’s new life, for he still plays favourites in chapter 37, as Isaac had done up until chapter 26 on this book. Oh, well, I’m sure Jacob became a follower of Jesus before he died, for He speaks of him in the kingdom of heaven in Matthew 8:11. I should mention that this chapter is found in pages 19-20 of my NKJV Bible, pages 24-25 of my NASB Bible, pages 42-44 of my VOICE copy, and pages 42-43 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.

I should mention that Jacob may or may not have known he was wrestling with Jesus (for He is God; see the footnotes of chapter 32 in this version — scroll to the bottom of that webpage), but there are so many interpretations that can be made from this, so I’m not really sure… I don’t think God saw Jacob as some schemer or anything, though. Too bad Esau’s words in Genesis 27:36 reverberated throughout his family line so that there’s almost no one left in his family tree today.

My story is similar to this to some degree… I grew up with a divisive mom, she represses my faith to the point that God sends her out of the house we live in back then… permanently… and even with a girl who’s nearly two years old as of now, my mom still gets inappropriate with others, even being unafraid to offend her. My mom wants nothing more than to eliminate the world of faith… permanently. And my niece’s second birthday is in less than a month. What I can tell her, though, is that God had something amazing in mind when He noticed the producers work on the first Frozen movie in 2013. I believe He’s responsible for both this and the second Frozen movie that came out last fall. I think I’ll preach the love of Jesus and His salvation gift to my niece when her second birthday party takes place, for it’s Frozen-themed. I believe Jesus wants me to do this so that she can be saved, and if she still doesn’t understand, I don’t think that’s very bad; I just pray she could understand Him one way or another. I just know getting through this punitive climate that’s being fostered by most of the parents who shop at my store (this includes parents of children who are now adults) is a total pain in the butt because apparently, the law enforces control instead of forbearance. I’d rather do a delivery job than see something like this take place so much, for at least then, I can do my work without a care in the world. The reason so many of us make bad decisions like partying and self-harm is almost always because the ones who should’ve introduced the Gospel and biblical truth to all of us never did that… and sadly, this isn’t likely to change in any nation. The worst part is that they actually praise the shooters who mercilessly kill so many students and civilians in the most random places, and it’s occurred so much in the last several years that the Columbine shooting that happened in 1999 is no longer one of the deadlier incidents of gun violence that happened.

I can’t ever get the right amount of confidence or heart to pray against any of it, like, ever, nor can I practice fostering a good environment for any customer long enough to give them an unforgettable experience most of the time… and in both cases, it’s because I see such hateful content of abuse and illicit “peacemaking” so often in and out of work. A customer named Anita mentioned to me that it’s so unfair that many under 35 (as I put it) are ravaged by the jerks who promote such violence, and that so many of us are taken out too soon, and I would completely agree. She knows my front end manager (and is 74 years old), and both women are from Germany. I wish I could learn from them… but I pray they become Christian, too! Oh, right, maybe Anita already is Christian, but in today’s world, you never really know… but in her case, I just want to know her more and not dismiss anything right away. In the meantime, I don’t expect to live long enough to make it to my niece’s second birthday party next month because of the unfair persecution of the U.S. population’s younger half. I don’t even expect to make it through the end of my shift tomorrow night because of it. I believe I can come close enough to victory where I think I might be able to prevent an evil incident from happening someday, but the massive amount of time I imagine it’ll take just to learn, except in my niece’s case, doesn’t seem worth it to me. If I ever manage to get enough money, I’d pay off all my debts, get some friends and family to move to a more peaceful place with me, and begin a ministry in which salvation would happen by the hundreds daily. If that happens, I don’t plan on ever returning to the U.S. again. The culture is just too violent, not to mention highly toxic, but it could be like this all over the world at a ridiculously high scale by the time I pay off my next debt in just three and a half years — God-willing, I make that happen! — I don’t know what this life is even worth if we’re just enduring so much crap that we can’t find any blessings even from God, like they’re eclipsed or something… I don’t know what to look for. Pray that things might turn better for me… maybe I just need to watch I’m Not Ashamed again, but I pray for God to tell me something I need to know quickly!

In the meantime, I hope to stick around long enough to write my next note on here, preferably on the first part of chapter 33. Sorry if I waited so long to write this down 😂😂😂 God-willing, I’ll write another note soon.

The VOICE version put it like how I have Jacob and Laban’s separation worded in this post’s title. Honestly, I’m not sure what to say here, but before I go into detail on how I’ve paralleled more of my life in Christ so far akin to Jacob’s (though he hadn’t been saved until after all his children were born; see Genesis 37 for his favoritism), I’ll say that this passage is found in pages 18-19 of my NKJV Bible, pages 23-24 of my NASB Bible (Old Testament), pages 41-42 of my VOICE copy (with its notes) and pages 40-41 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.

First, I’ll note that I saw I’m Not Ashamed in my room a few nights ago (the Columbine High story) and I have to say, it really rocked my world. If you know what happened that day in 1999, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. I wish that never took place, though! I’m pretty sure the shooters knew the girl was Christian, so they insulted God by saying to her, “Want to meet Him?” Then they shot her point-blank, after they had wounded her badly. Something like this should never happen. Yet I’m inspired by her bravery to confess the Name of Jesus when all hope seems lost, but at the same time, I’m surprised nothing insane has unfolded still, but I am in the process of delaying my student loan payments for the next year. Still, it’s no longer one of the deadlier shootings anymore, since so many more happened that are even worse in more recent times. What sucks most of all is that they were probably hired by the godless people who run the U.S., more and more each year. Enduring it is one big roller-coaster ride that will not leave you feeling any better than before. I can’t ever have the heart to pray against more unfolding in the future because the violence has deepened itself into the fabric of this nation so badly by now, and so I often don’t expect to make it through the current season I’m in or even the shift I’m clocked in for. I can probably keep a low profile about everything (generally speaking) while I grow in Jesus and bless the people around me… to the point where I might be able to prevent a shooting from happening anywhere someday, but the massive amount of courage I imagine it’ll take just to learn about let alone actually obtain (for unfortunately, sometimes keeping a low profile can backfire on you) feels too far away, and while I don’t want to retreat into cowardice, I don’t think I can make it through the next trial that comes my way when I stand up for Jesus publicly next time. I pray the Holy Spirit would guide me through everything (I’d rather not analyze something), for silence is worse than suffering, as Jeremiah 20:7-9 demonstrates. I don’t know what to do 😭😭😭😭😭 I don’t want anyone to die because of my witness to Jesus! Not even if he or she is one of His enemies!

I know this rant is unexpected for some of you, but I’ve been wondering for so long about differentiating between bravery and being obnoxious and also dodging malicious compliance and actually being able to invite people to learn about God that I’m just ready to say that soon, I’ll have to find that this answer probably won’t come to me in this life, and I don’t like that idea, for I want to mirror Heaven’s reality here on Earth instead, just as Jesus had said (Matthew 6:10). My pastor was right in having said last spring that Americans have 20/10 vision when it comes to fault-finding, in contrast to pretty much everywhere else. And both of us were born here in the U.S.! I wish I could change that for another person (for I’ve had three people saved so far) 😭😭😭

I think I’m saying all of this because Jacob was at least allowed to leave his in-laws’ land in peace, and surprisingly, I still haven’t had any attacks from any of my posts in recent months, especially the last one about the attack on Iran — I’m still praying there’s no war, but I can thank God for what He’s done so far 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘 (yes, I’m blowing Him a kiss; don’t judge me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 it’s not a gay thing to do, people; I still love women) — and I still have a lot of things I wish I could ask my mom, such as why she would be so hostile despite the fact that my brother and I grew up in the case of her supposedly discouraging it… I’m like, “WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS?! Is anyone less than half your age so much of a mistake to you that you wish to indoctrinate them into oblivion?” I’ll probably get a fake peace reply again from my mom if she sees this… she’s really good at hiding her injustice. She’s always been a divisive jerk to everyone… I’m probably wrong about this, too, but I know she’s divisive, for my brother has also learned of this and can agree with me about the fact that she’s loved to sow discord among family members for ages. God hates it when someone does this (Proverbs 6:16-19), and she knows it; she’s just been blaming everyone for too damn long, and soon, her days of causing crimes like this will be numbered! I wish nothing would happen, though… but the judgment is up to God, but when does He intervene? He’s done it before, but often it seems like I get any help too late. Am I not meant to live in this world? For I still have my past haunting me (I speak of the debts I’ve accumulated over the years), but that wouldn’t have happened if only she had believed in Jesus as she said she did in the first place!

I guess you can say that at this point, I’m not expecting God to get me through this in one piece this time… I always get too much opposition when something like this happens, for it was first the college career thing being ravaged by my jealous mom, and now I’m being burdened with several debt payments to make each month because of an impatient and unforgiving culture? But even if God doesn’t put an end to another branch of debt soon, I’ll still praise Him, yet I might be turned off to bravery forever if I don’t go through this in one piece and still live to tell the tale. I want to preach the gospel to many people across the world, but instead, it seems like I’m called to struggle with my demons and nothing more. I can’t take any of this… I’d rather have God take me out of this world, especially in a no-death method 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 if you want to pray for any blessing despite this, that’d be great, but don’t expect me to not be scarred for life by spiritual death again, first 😰 I’ll see you either tomorrow or Tuesday, if nothing happens, for I still intend to live in peace with others and not cause damage to even myself. And God-willing, I’ll get my tax returns soon.

First off, I hope your 2020 is going good so far, but I have some frightening news to let you know about. The first one is the the president launched a rocket against Iran (I won’t mention names, though, but you probably know who he is), and that war could soon happen, and many of us in both here in the U.S. and Iran could perish unjustly. He’s everything but peaceful, though he claims to be Christian. If anyone still thinks he should be worshiped (or some other candidate), they’re only lying to themselves, and God won’t forgive anyone who lies to themselves like this. The second one is that my mom could catch wind of me knowing the eviction I mentioned in a previous note (the eviction itself was back in 2016), and she’d realize I had thanked God for it, and she’d destroy every last man, woman, and child she’s more or less related to, and start over with her boyfriend from scratch, and that she’d make it so no one would ever be able to remember what she did or have the freedom to fight back. She’d be like Thanos in Avengers: Endgame! THAT’S how divisive she is, and my brother and I (including our families and some of our friends) know this! This I say because Jacob and Laban start to have escalating conflicts here, and what sucks most of all is that the VOICE editors actually side with that godless jerk who tricked Jacob multiple times! For God had told Jacob to screw up Laban with the livestock, and this passage says this explicitly. It is found in page 18 of my NKJV Bible, page 23 of my NASB Bible (Old Testament), pages 40-41 of my VOICE copy, and pages 39-40 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.

I’m sorry if I’m freaking you out with this, but Jesus commanded all of us to make peace, just as Matthew 5:9 has said (Jesus Himself spoke this): “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (NASB). And I’m not putting this on Facebook, for that would be like putting raw meat all over my skin and walking into a forest filled with bears while wearing it. I’m going to buy the I’m Not Ashamed DVD online once I post this, for I need to prepare myself for what I imagine will be a most trying season in the future. It could start tonight, it could be next week, it could be a year from now… it could happen anytime, my unfortunate execution for me believing in Jesus and suffering for Him again. I told Jonathan the bad news of the airstrike, and thankfully, I mentioned 1 Timothy 6:11 about seeking peace like there’s no tomorrow. (Edit on January 4, 2020: I looked up the Greek for this; peace and gentleness are two different Greek words, but both are fruits of the Spirit. Sorry 😂😂😂😂😂 I just didn’t think of Galatians 5…) I pray he and Dean and EVERYONE I know would react positively to this, for if anyone doesn’t receive my message with peace, they’re not believers and will probably go to Hell for their reaction. By the way, the DVD could take several business days to ship out to my house, but at least I have the money for it this time. I pray I gladly get bold in my walk with Christ, because I’m pretty sure time’s running out for me to live in a season in which I don’t have violence attacking me. Hopefully I’m wrong, but I’m not expecting any hateful attacks to be averted this time. I’m probably going to be persecuted again! I told this to my current and former Awaken pastors, and they could agree that I need a miracle (for I mentioned the second job thing to them and my history of enduring major bullcrap as if Jesus wasn’t worth anything). Too bad I didn’t know about the airstrike incident at the time, though. Maybe I did; I just wasn’t expecting the president to realize that the people are able to stop him from being divisive. If he has done this, he’ll erupt in anger and fear like Voldemort did when he discovered that Harry Potter had known about the Horcruxes he had made. I swear, though, I can’t always help but speak like this! Maybe I can, I don’t know for sure… I’m scared we won’t make it through the next week or two as well 😓😰😭😭😭 Tell everyone you know what I’ve written tonight, if you can. The Holy Spirit is threatened because of the president, and also the divisive people we were reared by! They’ve threatened Him, too! Please, tell your family and friends you love them, for it could all end tonight! For just as the two shooters who killed 13 people in the Columbine shooting back in 1999 didn’t receive Jesus, so those warmongers won’t be saved, either. Pray you might make it out of this alive, and feel free to pray that I would get through this trying time in one “peace,” if you know what I mean 🙏🏼🙌🏼✝☮💯💯💯

I pray you, the reader, would recognize how much God loves you, though, for in the midst of incredible chaos and danger, He still is able to make love and happiness take place, so I want to say, “Hi, I love you a lot, thanks for existing” 💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💘💘💘💘💘💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💗💓💞❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍❣ I’ll see you again on here, God-willing, after I watch the I’m Not Ashamed movie. Pray that it will come in the mail, too. But I have another round of interviews at a furniture store next week, and I can make it on Monday morning. I’d love for you to pray I make it there, for I have that day off work.

See ya!