I really must be honest, after nearly a year and a half of writing notes on here, I’m still scared to display this to more people. For even though Joseph wasn’t judged for revealing his identity to his brothers so they could know he was alive (and that eventually the extended families would know as well), and neither was I when I made all sorts of confessions during my first year of college, I was judged quite a bit a few years later when I found out Redemption Church was Calvinist. I still think places like that should be avoided, too! I also got a lot of backbiting about the gifts of the Spirit during my attendance of the Antioch church that was near ASU at the time while I did a fifth year of school (and was failing spectacularly due to the schisms I was dealing with), as if Jesus didn’t give that out today! And that was at a church where they were openly encouraged! Yet despite the fact that it was imprinted in the Bible about 2,000 years ago, they treated that as if it were not some biblical truth, but an optional conviction. I’m like, “It’s necessary that everyone has gifts of the Spirit of some kind, supernatural or otherwise.” Not that they were required for salvation, but that it’s necessary for Christian growth. Eventually, I was kicked out. And when I was taken from the apartment where I was living in back then to a ward for four days, and then a mental hospital for another month or so, I had to move back to my mom’s place, for it was either that or the homeless shelter. And upon discovering this, when I left the mental hospital, I was like, “Oh, my God! If I don’t hide enough, this is it!” And so that’s why I speak about the low profile thing quite often despite the fact that I talk about a lot of random stuff to a few friends (and possibly counting) and some of the customers at Fry’s. I’m afraid of all this happening again, for after my mom lost her house two years after I had moved back in last time, I was homeless most nights and had to go to a homeless shelter when I couldn’t find a place to stay from a friend. It took so long for me to get to where I am now that I don’t think I can risk anything else again, really. I don’t know if God even wants me to step out in the future… but this passage is found in page 28 of my NKJV Bible, pages 35-36 of my NASB Bible (Old Testament) page 61 of my VOICE copy, and page 59 of my Amplified Bible (Classic Edition) copy.
I don’t want to live in fear, but I can’t help but think I’ll lose too much again should I say something good, even if no hostile enemy hears me. This was a turning point in the story about how Joseph and his family were suffering during the famine… and maybe it’ll be the same for me and my family members should we get our stimulus checks I heard they would give out if they are legally allowed to… I don’t know. I wish I could find God in more places, but I’m not expecting glory to last, and even if everything turns out right, I could lose something significant again… I want to keep my niece, not lose her! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I’m still praying she’s safe from the pandemic we’re in…
Ron And His Stories 